.:|:. Dove Love’s .:. Points and Passions .:|:.

By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  I was just reading this older post on the Frog totem and realized I had forgotten about this great article and site that I wanted to re-visit, “The Six Faces of Healing,” …  The “third face” aligns with the frog totem, and very worthy of re-posting here, and a good reminder for me to get to that re-visiting thing ;)

Peace,
Dove

{Actually I’m just now posting this, it’s been sitting in the draft file for…maybe a few weeks?  I dunno, maybe this is an indicator of my resistance to the re-visiting thing :) … *sigh* It’s a journey.  I love the part elaborating on “why do we cry?” …  }

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The Third Face of Healing:  Cleansing

After anger is released the tears can flow freely. Why do we cry? What is the pain we feel? The pain comes from a realization that we may or may not have been living in accordance with our soul’s truth. We cry for the past, mourning those times when we weren’t true to ourselves, or when others insisted we give up our truth. We cry for the present, grieving for all those attitudes, beliefs, even dis-eases, relationships, and life situations that we are giving up. We mourn the death of an old identity, and in its place, a new life springs forth. We cry because we are tired from hanging on to emotions, beliefs, and dis-ease that would leave us trapped in a life we don’t love.

We cry because we long for those who would love us as we are, not as they would wish us to be. We cry in terror, worrying if we can truly find this love and make our lives work if we walk through our fears, remove the masks, and show the world the true face of our soul. The tears release us from our bondage to the past and create the emptiness inside that is required for soul to find rest in our human hearts.

This mask is used to help us remember that there is beauty even in the pain of our grieving and sadness. Frog is a Native American symbol for cleansing. When you are at a pivotal point in life, clean your closets, check into your beliefs and sort through them, evaluate your relationships and your careers. What is your truth? Cleanse your life of all that is not you. Absolve yourself from guilt. Feel the pains of your sadness and your fears, and then let them go. Let the tears flow, and then let them go.

As the mask shows, the teardrops wash us from the inside out and then provide a fertile ground for new ideas to grow. The “water” falling from the ears tells us that we need to sort through all we have heard and been told about who we are and cleanse our minds of all that is not so. Who told you that you weren’t lovable? Who told you that you weren’t good enough? Who told you that life had to be difficult? Cleanse yourself of the lies that you’ve heard, and create a new truth.

From the tangled undergrowth of our confused thoughts, beauty arises. You feel empty inside, cleansed of all that is not you, and ready to grow into all that is truly you. You begin to bloom. Give yourself time to grieve when you are healing or in transition. This is a natural process of living. Tears are beautiful — melted diamonds that represent the essence of our soul.

Source: http://www.visionsofheaven.com/articles_docs/ARmasks.html

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By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com   The Rattlesnake totem came to me the other day — the mention of it in a conversation in front of my desk here at work, and a few days before that a co-worker said my “hollow cake” (MS Paint pic I recently did) looked like a rattlesnake’s tail.  Then I very unusually remembered a dream last night (it’s rare that I remember my dreams these days).  It was about a rattlesnake.  And if all that wasn’t enough, when I first clicked onto WordPress this morning, on the homepage under “hawt posts,” was a blog title that included “Rattler’s Tale.”  Geez, that’s a lot of synchronicity, don’t ya’ think? :) 

I don’t remember all of the dream…  But there was a rattlesnake in a glass box/cage and apparently it was mine, I had brought it to this place.  Then I think I did something to anger the snake and it started to climb out of its box.  It got out.  I was horrified that it was out and was thinking of nothing but getting it back into its box.  I knew I was responsible for it, so I chased it — I was so worried others would be hurt by it.  

The rattlesnake went to the back of the house.  (I realized here that this house was my greatgrandmother’s house, where I lived for quite a while as a kid…because my mother had been institutionalized for a time for a nervous breakdown, after my father divorced her.)  The snake hurried toward the back door.  I was so frightened it would get out there and we’d never find it — and then someone would surely go back there and be harmed by it.  Without thinking of anything but that, I grabbed its tail and pulled it back in (it had just darted out the door and half its body was outside).  Its head wildly flew around right up toward my face, as I expected, and I grabbed and pulled it back before it could strike me.  I was obviously horribly frightened, but I remember thinking I’d get someone to cut/kill it while I held it.  I woke up at that point, heart pounding. 

I was reading this morning how the “rattler” can represent healing.  I’ve been getting a lot of totems lately that seem to be pointing to my healing…creativity, and the transformation that the healing will bring.  It’s interesting that the snake went to the back of the house, the back door… the past.  Supposedly that’s where I’ll find healing.  It just overwhelms me, the thought of “going back.”  I don’t know where to start — so much, um, “stuff” back there.  Maybe I think … I “would surely go back there and be harmed by it.”  I don’t know, but I know I’ve made progress in my healing recently, and that began most significantly when I began to see the patterns spurred from the past, realizing the anger I feel now in relationships is tied to something, so much, in the past …  

The message I received in January about “pain, resurrection, peace” comes to mind.  It seems perhaps that I need to feel the pain of the past so as to “resurrect.”  Resurrection is among the snake totem interpretations.  Hmmm, and this brings to mind the Jesus energy that has been around me recently as well.

Update: Hey, here’s yet another mention of “resurrection,” the “444″ that I’d been getting … I’d forgotten about this one, it was back in February.  I only noticed ’cause so many people were reading it — ain’t synchronicity amazin’ (heh)  :)

I know this was a powerful dream.   The snake is a powerful totem.  I’ve had dreams of snakes in the past (and they were often touching me or I was touching them), even some interesting snake encounters in this reality – and they invariably were followed by major changes in my life… 

Here are some excerpts from some sites I just came upon about the snake and rattlesnake totem.

Peace,
Dove

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Snake Totem

“Although the snake is feared and loathed throughout every culture around the planet where reptiles appear, it is among the most universally respected and sought-after of all animal totems. In ancient Egypt, the snake was regarded as a symbol of both immortality and death, and the pharaoh wore a snake emblem on his head-dress as a mark of royalty and divinity. Apep was the Egyptian and Greek name for the Great Serpent of the Underworld. Ouroboros was the Greek name for the gigantic serpent coiled in the earth’s womb.

Apollo, the Greek god of healing and medicine, was originally invoked and worshipped as a snake. In later times, Aesculapius, and other deity associated with medicine, is said to have assumed serpentine form. His crest remains today as a symbol of the medical profession.

…

To the ancient people of Asia Minor, Ophion was the father of all humankind, the divine, serpent who lived in the Tree of Life in the primal garden.

In ancient Mexico, Ciuacoatl, the Great Mother of men and gods, is represented as a serpent woman. Quetza-coatl, the great culture bearer, is depicted as a winged serpent. Among many African tribes, it is Aido Hwendo, the Rainbow Serpent, that supports the earth.

Father Charlevoit, an early French missionary to the eastern tribes of North America, remarked in his journals that there was no image that the Native American tribes marked upon their faces and other parts of their bodies more than that of the snake. Furthermore, according to the priest’s observations, the Shamans had the secret of charming snakes, of benumbing them, “so that they take them alive, handle them, and put them in their bosom without receiving any hurt.”

The rattlesnake was considered the chief of all serpents; and some tribes believed that in addition to delivering death via the strike of its deadly fangs, the “chief” could transmit diseases with but a glance of its beady eyes.

If a coiled rattlesnake should appear in the path of a warrior, he would freeze in his tracks, speak beseechingly to it, and offer it whatever gifts he had on his person that he hoped might propitiate the angry chief of snakes.

The Medicine Priests who walked unharmed among the rattlesnakes knew that the powerful essence of the Great Mystery moved through them. Those who had received the snake as a totem animal during the vision quest felt especially blessed. The Pueblo, Hopi, and Zuni tribes revered Horned Serpent and Horned Water Serpent as largely benevolent guardian spirits and prized snakes as totem animals and spirit helpers.

Shamans revered the snake for its great wisdom, and many believed that the serpent spoke a secret language of its own that no other animal was permitted to comprehend. According to many tribal legends, in the beginning time, humans and snakes could converse freely Therefore, if one were powerfully attuned on the spirit level, he or she could still communicate with a snake on the telepathic level. If one could achieve this mind linkup, the serpent would reveal secrets of the future and other aspects of arcane knowledge.

The skin of the rattlesnake was used by nearly all Medicine Priests in some aspect of their rituals, and their rattles were often carried in the priests’ sacred pouches.

Those born in the Year of the Snake in the Chinese zodiac are characterized as wise and intense, with a tendency to be vain about their physical beauty. The sign of the Snake in the Native American zodiac (October 23 to November 21) identifies a person who is charismatic, but difficult to comprehend.

…

When you enter the Silence with Snake as your ally, you are certain to go deep within and draw forth ancient wisdom teachings that will immediately be able to change your life for the better.”

Totem Information by Wolfhawk.

Source: www.ravenmoonlight.com

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Adder and Rattlesnake Totems

Generally, Snake represents wisdom, rebirth, initiation and resurrection. Both the Celts and Native Americans believed Snake symbolizes transmutation, the ability to alter appearance, nature, and form, particularly to higher ones.

To the Celts, Adder symbolized transmutation, life’s energy and healing. He signifies getting rid of the old for the better new, reincarnation, wisdom and cunning.

The English believed the skin had magickal properties. It could draw thorns from the body, hung on the chimney attracted luck and hung on the rafters, prevented fires. To see Adder near the front door was a death omen.

Native Americans also believed that snake symbolized transmutation. It is the rattlesnake that appears on the Snake card in The Medicine Cards, Jamie Sams & David Carson, (Bear & Company, 1988)

Snake totem is the power of creation and embodies immortality and psychic energy. He has fire energy which, emotionally, are charisma, power and the intellect; spiritually, connection with Spirit, wisdom, wholeness and understanding. On the physical level, they are vitality and passion.

Source:  http://paganismwicca.suite101.com/article.cfm/snake_pagan_symbol_transmutation

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By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  Well, it started on Saturday… this Jesus thing, he’s been around me for some reason.  Oh, but he thinks it’s funny that I call him “Jay-sus” lol ;)  Jesus would really be a drag if he had no sense of humor, ya’ know? 

Anyway, I thought nothing more about it after Saturday, but there he was again this morning…  He went shopping with me, heh :)   Today was my errand day.  And it was an exceedingly icky day weatherwise — icy cold, and highly wet, rain or really cold mist all day long.  I shivered as I closed my umbrella and walked into the post office and around the corner to the area where my p.o. box is located. 

Very unusual, a little lady with coal-colored hair appeared outta nowhere, and was opening a box not far from mine.  I said something about the icky weather and she said something sweetly about being grateful :)  “Yeah, you’re right…” I responded.  Then, also out of the blue, she said to me, ”Remember Jesus is always with you, no matter where you go.” :)  That really stoked me, since having had the Jesus energy around me just a coupla days before.  I just smiled at her, thinking “You are Jesus, sweetie.” 

My next stop, minutes later, was the grocery store…  As I looked for a park, I noticed where someone had written on the front of a car, “I (heart symbol) you.”  That was so close to the mention of Jesus, I couldn’t help but think that was him talking to me again ;)  { Update: Hey, I was just re-reading this, and realized that I hadn’t tied this “I (heart) you” with my other Jesus post where I noted that I had sang “Jesus loves me…” as a little one…ah, that just makes me smile all over again :) }  Throughout the day I was seeing and hearing things that aligned with this energy…  even hearing “Jesus” a couple of times on the radio as it scanned.  At one point, I felt I was chatting with him in my mind, mostly joking with each other :) 

Then I started seeing the number 16 everywhere, that usually represents, for me, the Tower card in the Tarot (number 16).  Interestingly, I had a day last year around this time when I began seeing the 16 like that, but that one last year was unnerving, I felt the Tower inside me, I shook inside (like the Tower), it frightened me … and sure enough, it proved to be a warning of something not-so-good about to happen…  But I lived through it, and came out of it for the better.

But this one today was different, I felt no fear, and I saw positive things around the 16.  So I felt this, unlike the other, was a positive message.  The Tower card can represent “enlightenment,” and freedom…even just a surprise.  At one point I was in a store, browsing, and I began seeing it again on items in the store.   I felt I was about to get a “surprise,” and felt I might be seeing someone that I knew…  And sure enough, just before I walked out of the store, in walked a co-worker I never would have imagined seeing there — it really did shock me (surprise)  :) 

At the end of the day, in the parking lot of my last stop for “errand day,” I was backing out and saw flashing lights at a distance, an emergency vehicle.  As I got on the main road for home, more emergency vehicles (I don’t think they were related to the other), about four of them, I had to pull over a couple of times…  These also reflect “Tower” energy…but again, I noted that I felt no fear inside from them…  I glanced at a license plate in front of me that simply said, “Sun” and that made me smile… that’s the “God/dess” card in the Tarot, a card about much joy.  My favorite card…

I’d gotten a lot of messages through the day like “No problem,” and “Don’t worry.”  So that was comforting.  Also many things that represent intuition, and “magic” and, of course, Jesus is part of that :) 

Still not entirely sure why Jesus has been hanging out with me lately, but I did get a strong message about “Heaven” at one point today.  I’d been getting that the Six of Cups card is related to it.  That is a sweet card that can represent home and joy and peace…  “Jesus” told me that this is “heaven” — it’s all the same thing – peace, “home,” joy — “Heaven.”  Ahh, so that’s what it meant when I heard years ago, at a climactic point in my life, that I was “getting closer to home.”  Home, peace, joy — “heaven” :)  I hope Jesus’ visit means I’m just almost there — I think so :)   I’m feeling very “blessed” lately…

Thanks Jay-sus, I heart you too *muah* ;)

Peace,
Dove

By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  This card, the Tarot’s Moon card, just arrived in my email box … and so incredibly timely.  Tears rolling down my face this morning, feeling very emotional and … well, not so good right now.  I’d just come upon a blog on my blog surfing page, speaking of soulmates and twin souls, twin flames.  Thinking about first connecting with a certain person, and how on point so much of this post is regarding he and I.   I’ve allowed this “relationship” to cause me so much pain, wasted soooo much time on it, and …  And yet I’m getting from this soulmate post that maybe somehow it has taught me good things, strengthened me?  I dunno, maybe.

But the Moon card mode is where I have primarily been through all of it.  Confused…and a lot of emotion, a lot of yanking the heart around, wondering if these feelings are mine or his…  We sensitive ones tend to pick up the emotions of others, and it can be a challenge to distinguish ours from theirs.  I’ve never been able to get clear as to what’s the truth about this connection, about what my real feelings are about it.  Moments of what definitely felt like “love,” but also undeniable hatred.  More often than not, it just seemed like a very unhealthy connection.

I’ve recently discovered how I tend to draw people into my life that give me mixed messages, and it so clearly aligns with my childhood.  Parental figures that seem to love us at times, get us stuff we need, say nice things, maybe tell us they love us…and yet in the next moment are saying and doing harmful things toward us.  I think that contradiction is what really messes with our minds more than the actual abuse…  And we grow and live with that energy of confusion, screwed emotionally (Moon card), and perhaps invariably feeling a love/hate thing in most of our relationships.

One day I was talking on the phone with “soulmate guy,” and I cringed when he said his middle name began with the letter “A.”  Even though things seemed fine between he and I in that moment, I thought, “Oh, shit …”  I just knew in that moment, the name, it was the same as my older brother’s, a brother who had hated me since birth, was jealous of me, terrorized me throughout childhood and even beyond…  Abuse that allowed me to know what it was like to be an abused spouse…I can remember seething with anger in watching, “The Burning Bed.” (A movie about spousal abuse.)  Was this connection about my needing to re-live some of that crap from the past, bring up the hatred still buried within me, from all of that?  Despite having been criminally abused by another family member, I feel the hatred that I felt for my brother has been the most potent, has almost killed me, is the key to all my health issues…it stirs me now, even in this moment.  And “ironically,” I idolized, adored, this brother as a kid, even as he hated me…  More seeds for the love/hate thing.

And yeah, I can see that this soulmate connection had a lot to do with that.  I felt the old hatred coming up when this person was cruel towards me.  Nah, his cruelty was in no way as potent as what I had experienced as a child, but it pushed those old buttons…and to the extent that I considered, well, leaving this world…

I think I held on so tightly to this thing between this guy and I mainly because there was an ocean of metaphysical “signs” and messages as to our, um, spiritual kinship.  I mean, there’s no doubt in my mind that we have this “soulmate” connection, but soulmates aren’t necessarily people we are meant to spend our lives with — we have lots of “soulmates” around us, they come and they go. 

Some of the synchronicities per this connection with this soulmate guy…  When I was living on the West Coast, over 2000 miles from here, the name of the street where I first met him came to me in a song.  A very unusual name for a street, I was stunned when I first saw it on a street sign while I was looking for an apartment here.  About a month before I met him and it continued up to that point, I was drawing the Two of Cups a lot from my Tarot cards.  That’s a strong love card, and/or points to a new, usually romantic, relationship.  About a week before I met him, I had a dream.  I was kissing Bruce Springsteen, heh  That was the dream, I remember feeling amazingly good after awakening from this dream, lovin’ that kiss :)  I thought about how he’s called “the boss.”  I didn’t have a job yet at that point, so I hoped it was symbolic of finding one soon.  Soulmate guy is an Aries (fire sign), which correlates with the Emperor in the Tarot, the Emperor is “the boss.”  This card can often represent an employer (more “boss” stuff:  I met him in a job situation, and he’s the reason I got that job – located on the street per the song).  And if that isn’t enough, shortly after we met, he jokingly (I thought) said he was “the boss.”  (No, he didn’t know about my dream at that point.)  In pulling cards on this relationship, the Tarot often showed him as the Emperor, or the King of Swords (another boss card).  Both cards represent someone who is kind of emotionless — which means, he hides his emotions or keeps them tightly under control.  When I draw the King of Swords on someone, I often ask “What’s under that?” and then I’ll see in the next card more clearly how the person really feels…

This person also has the same main animal totems (Owl, Crow…Hawk) and Life Path number as me (11/2/High Priestess).  He’s very psychic, and we had/have a strong psychic connection…  Once I was feeling a lot of anger towards him (a lot), and we hadn’t spoken in quite a long while, and out of the blue, he emailed me, and spoke of my anger as if he knew I was feeling it right then.  Another time we tried to guess what number the other was thinking of, we both got it right — that amazed me.  He told me almost at the very beginning that he knew our relationship would become a love-hate thing… He told me at a desperate moment in my life that I was going to make it, and I did.   Even so, the way he treated me at that time was inconceivably cruel (”ill-dignified” or reversed King of Swords), especially coming from a lover …

Via my Tarot, I often knew when breakups (many) and other things were about to happen between us.  I invariably know when he’s about to contact me again (even after many months have gone by) — I always start seeing his name, I’ll see it everywhere.  Once it had been about four months, and I’d been getting his name.  One morning I clicked on a blog and it had a sport’s celebrity theme, same first name as this soulmate guy.  Across the top of the page was his first name in giant letters.  It was so large, his name, it kinda stunned me.  I thought, oh-yeah, he’ll be contacting me very soon.  I got an email from him the next morning (after four months of no contact). 

Also the week before I met him, I was standing in line at the grocery store and my eyes were drawn to a caption on a magazine there, it was something “at first sight.”  Because I’d been getting the Two of Cups so much with the Tarot, I felt kind of excited by that, it was another little message, and it further assured me that I was about to meet someone special.

But easily the most potent message was also in that week before our first meeting…  It was one of those magical “tween times” :)  Still daylight but approaching dusk, and it was kinda “dreamy” outside ;)  It seemed from out of nowhere there appeared these two fireflies, right in the center of my upstairs window.  Oh-ma-gawd, it was so beautiful.  It was like they were putting on a show just for me :)  Having their sweet little fiery dance right in the center of my window.  I was mesmerized by it, I so loved it.  I recalled that fireflies are on the Lovers card in my Animal-Wise Tarot.   He  and I were first, um, “together” on the 4th of July … fireworks?  Not so much, lol ;)  But it progressively got a lot more fiery, in more ways than one. 

So ya’ see, a lot of synchronicity with it, so I have to believe there has been some reason for all of this.  And that’s why it has been especially difficult for me to accept that this person isn’t “the one” for me.  At this point, it is abundantly clear that he is not.  And yet I still wonder why there was so much “magic” about it — maybe I just allowed it to be blown into something it wasn’t because of all of that.  There was some joy in it, joy like I’d never known before, and maybe that was why the Universe put such an emphasis on it.  I don’t know.  But I do know that it has been a very unhealthy connection, and it’s clear that’s because both of us need to find that “wholeness” and healing that the soulmate post speaks of before we are ready to truly meet “the one.”  And what I most know is that I deserve so much better than the wicked, abusive energy that I grew up with, and until I completely heal, it’s clear that I’ll keep drawing those with this energy.  If for nothing else, I am grateful for having had this experience so as to come to this realization.

Peace,
Dove

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THE MOON

When we experience such turbulent emotions, it is difficult
to believe that we could ever feel harmony and peace within
ourselves again.

Highly charged feelings cause havoc in our lives, and when
The Moon appears in your readings, you can be sure there are
issues in your life that are causing confusion and mixed
emotions.

When this card appears, it is suggesting you take a step
back and view your situation from a different perspective
and with a calmer logic.

However, The Moon does represent powerful feelings and it
isn’t always easy to gain clarity: we often can’t ‘see the
wood for the trees’.  The path to clarity and understanding
is a challenging one, yet despite the emotional wrenches
you may feel, it is right for you.

For example, if you are in a situation where you need to
let go of a lover or partner for whatever reason, but
emotionally cannot summon up the courage to do so, even
though you know it’s the right thing to do, trust that the
new path you seek is right for you.

Often when a decision is very difficult and causes strong
emotional resistance within us, we allow our weaker nature
to rule. However, in many of these situations it is a brave
heart and clear mind that help us see through the fog of
unruly emotion and step onto our true path.

The Moon not only represents illusion caused by powerful
emotions, but also illusion or trickery created by other
people’s lies or misleading behavior.  Therefore, when The
Moon appears in a reading, it’s a good idea to question
your motives and those of people close to you, and it is
best to refrain from making firm decisions until you know
and feel a sense of certainty about your choices.

The wan light of The Moon does in some way shed light upon
the right path for us, but because we cannot see clearly
in dim light we doubt ourselves and hold back from taking
the steps forward.

The Moon may suggest that your avoidance to take action or
make a tough decision about a certain situation is simply
due to fear of loss. Fear has much to do with The Moon, and
courage is always needed to conquer fear, so take your time
when The Moon appears in your readings and search for your
inner courage. With patience you will find the clarity you
seek.

Source:  www.lotustarot.com

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Update:  The same blog that posted the soulmate post mentioned above just did another post (noticed it right after publishing my post here) that I’m strongly resonating with — an explanation for the tears and the sadness.  Very helpful reading this… 

http://indigolifecenter.wordpress.com/2008/02/24/twelve-signs-of-your-awakening-divinity/

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Dove’s Art    Dove’s Posts At-a-Glance    Dove’s Tarot Website

By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  I just came upon this great post, with excellent advice that a lot of people need, and need to be reminded of.  It wasn’t that long ago that I realized I was addicted to adrenaline.  I think it’s spurred when we are ignoring our emotions, not taking time to honor them. 

The name “Jack” often comes to me when I’m needing to sit and chat with my anger :)  That is, I’ll begin to see that name everywhere.  Last night I saw it in a comment by my blog friend CV, but sometimes I let the first one go by.  But then just now I saw “Jack” again, twice, in the above-mentioned post.  An urgent call from Jack, and note how the article is right on point with it.  She mentions “Jack in the box” and there’s a person commenting with the ID name “Jack.”  Geez, why do I wince when I see it….because I know I’m going to have to endure discomfort in recognizing and processing my anger.

To add to this synchronicity, I drew a Tarot spread earlier today that showed me in a “Tower” mode.  That’s a Tarot card that, for me, often represents a crucial build-up of energy.  Anger.  I’ve also discovered that it’s often about being angry with myself.  And more often than not, I don’t even feel consciously angry.  That’s how efficient I’ve been in pushing it down and ignoring it over the years.  But this Tower will “explode” if I don’t heed “Jack’s” call soon.   That explosion for me is invariably an anxiety attack that can last from two to four hours, sometimes longer.  I have had these “anxiety attacks” every few days for the bulk of my adult life, and it seems they’re almost impossible to avoid after I’ve been out in the public, around a lot of people.  I tend to take on the energy of others without realizing it…  

Like most people (and even when we know better), I don’t like dealing with my so-called “negative” emotions.  They’re not fun, it doesn’t feel good, and I feel we’ve been brainwashed into having an aversion to them (”don’t cry,” “calm down!,” “there’s no reason to be angry,” “you need to straighten up” …)  And no doubt, we all like to keep going in that ”happy” mode, even when it’s a mask for not-so-happy, from denying that which we are, from dishonoring our powerful and precious emotions.

I wanted to add, before I go chat with Jack :)  (and do some physical exercise, ’cause “he” likes that) that I tend to draw people who also have this adrenaline addiction thing (like attracts like).  The guys that I’ve had ongoing relationships with are invariably work-aholics.  They are subconsciously drawn to doing work that puts a lot of stress on their bodies and minds… and jobs that keep them from really living life, from feeling the pain of life…  They prefer a life that is “dead” of emotion (including the sweet kind), and consequently their lives are a living “death.”  Emotions are what make us feel ALIVE.  

My last guy was frickin’ insane with a need to keep busy, he couldn’t sit still for five minutes.  Seriously.  I’d never met anyone like him before, he was the poster child for Adrenaline Addiction, lol ;)  He actually took pride in his mad busy-ness, thinking himself above others because of it, thinking his driving himself this way was admirable so as to be what he deemed a “success.” 

But the human body (and mind) can take only so much.  I had lived with a guy much older than him, also a work-aholic, also worked a job that put excessive stress on his body and mind…and he eventually “hit a wall” and had to get therapy because of it.  And I watched as he began to have his melt down…  All that “stuff” we’re running from continues to build as we ignore it.  Year after year, it builds.  Some type of “explosion” is unavoidable after a certain point.  And that can range from harming another to harming oneself to getting a serious illness…

For my “like energy,” it’s not about being a success in the material world so much as a drive to be a success in my personal life — that is, a need to have my immediate world “just right.”  I’m continually organizing, cleaning, making notes, planning, working to keep “my world” highly efficient…  That’s my obsession.  To a point that’s a good thing, as is working hard in the “real world,” but when it comes above one’s physical health, mental health, our spiriutal growth, being kind and charitable to others. taking time for others, giving love and attention to those we care about,  then that’s a problem.  

As I’ve written this post, I’ve become increasingly short of breath, a struggle to breathe right now…  I s’pose this is a sign of my fear with the whole idea of having to embrace, deal with, FEEL, these emotions, these aspects of myself that are deemed so “negative” by this society…

I hope to soon heal myself of this “adrenaline addiction,” what I see as rooted in a desire to escape the pain of life by keeping the heart and mind racing.  Too busy to notice the pain.  I feel getting cozy with one’s emotions (readily embracing all of them, “good” and “bad”), and facing and clearing old traumas, facing the fear of all of that, and adhering to the advice in the above article, is a potent step toward healing.

Peace,
Dove

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By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  I’ve been getting the number three like mad in the last 24 hours.  It seems to be tied into the “celebrate” message I received from opening a book.  In the Tarot, that message would be conveyed with the Three of Cups.  What I didn’t mention in that post is that I “heard” some words before I opened the book, “pain, resurrection, peace…”  And the book’s message seemed to align with those words.  I didn’t wanna think about anymore pain, so I omitted mentioning that part.  Just not a happy thought, that we’ve gotta move through the pain before we get to that wonderful peace.

Was feelin’ pretty blue today and wrote a lengthy rhyme about it on my “Write Off the Top of the Head” thread.  Was “drawing” some cards just now online and drew a version of the Three of Swords, a card I invariably dread seeing.  But this image really grabbed my heart.  Oh-ma-gawd, those eyes — those are the kinda eyes I was talking about in my “Divine Eyes” post.  Vulnerable eyes, so very vulnerable they are, we are, when we’re in pain. 

I’m so proud of myself, I did some crying today :) and this card, this awesome image, it helped me to cry some more.  And it wasn’t tears from my own pain, but that face, those eyes, so precious — it made me cry thinking of someone else hurting like that, so deeply…knowing how tired they are of it all, so frustrated by their own patterns, at a loss as to how to overcome them, how to heal them.  And so they keep repeating them, continuing that sad cycle of pain, such a prison…  I just wanna hug that heart so much.

I just can’t get over those eyes, I love that image.  Here’s a link to it.

http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/project/4/03_swords.shtml

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And here are a couple of  interpretations for the three….
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Three: The spiritual meaning of number Three deals with magic, intuition, fecundity, and advantage. The number Three invokes expression, versatility, and pure joy of creativity. Three is also a time identifier as it represents Past, Present and future. Consecutive Three’s in your life may symbolize the need to express yourself creatively, or consider your present directional path in relation to your past events and future goals. Three’s may also represent promising new ventures, assurance of cooperation from others you may require help from, and Threes typically symbolize reward and success in most undertakings.

Source:  http://www.whats-your-sign.com/spiritual-meaning-of-numbers.html

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Three (3)

The third dimension - we do things in threes so they will manifest in our physical realm.It’s roots stem from the meaning of multiplicity. Creative power; growth. Three is a moving forward of energy, overcoming duality, expression, manifestation and synthesis. Three is the first number to which the meaning “all” was given. It is The Triad, being the number of the whole as it contains the beginning, a middle and an end.

The power of three is universal and is the tripartide nature of the world as heaven, earth, and waters. It is human as body, soul and spirit. Notice the distinction that soul and spirit are not the same. They are not. Three is birth, life, death. It is the beginning, middle and end. Three is a complete cycle unto itself. It is past, present, future.

The symbol of three is the triangle. Three interwoven circles or triangles can represent the indissoluble unity of the three persons of the trinity. Others symbols using three are: trident, fleur-de-lis, trefoil, trisula, thunderbolt, and trigrams.

The astral or emotional body stays connected to the physically body for three days after death. There is scientific evidence that the brain, even when all other systems are failing takes three days to register complete shutdown.

There are 3 phases to the moon. Lunar animals are often depcited as 3 legged.

Three is the heavenly number, representing soul, as four represents body. Together the two equal seven (3+4=7 ) and form the sacred hebdomad. The 3×4=12 representing the signs of the Zodiac and months of the year.

Pythagorean three means completion.

There are three wishes, genies have three wishes, three leprecons, three prince or princesses, three witches, three weird sisters among others.

Source:  http://www.crystalinks.com/numerology2.html

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{Dove:  I started seeing the 3 everywhere (everywhere) last night, right after posting this comment on another’s blog…  I was responding to the quote indicated, from another on that thread.}
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No, we definitely don’t need religion, and certainly not the fear-based interpretations of that old book, and the mega-controlling systems that sprouted from them…

“God said ‘where three or more are gathered in my name, that is where my church is’.”

Me, Myself and I (am) = 3

The Body/Heart, the Mind, the Spirit = 3
(”The Father, the Son, The Holy Ghost”)

The Earth, the Sun, the Sky/Air = 3

She, He, Love = 3

Paintbrush, Paint, Artist = 3

The 3 in the Tarot is the Empress, she’s about love and creativity (she adores Nature, animals, gardening, creating…she is the perfect “Mother”). She nurtures/loves things to life.

We are the Seed, the Garden, the Flower (3)

“Church,” “God,” “Love,” “Passion” “Joy” “Creative/Spiritual/Intuitive Energy” … “Everything,” is within us.

Peace,
Dove

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By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  A few years back while still living in southern Oregon, a potent time in my healing journey, I was participating in a group meditation.  I got a wonderful vision — a gift, literally :)   In my mind’s eye, I saw someone handing me a gift.  A small box wrapped in pretty green paper with a slightly darker green bow.  I opened it, there was a frog inside :)

The frog is, among other things, about healing, the healing of water, cleansing tears…  I’ve never been good about letting myself cry, but I feel I’ve improved in that area since receiving that frog totem.  A sweet gift, it was.  

When I was growing up, I kinda lived in a war zone, tears would be a sign of weakness….so I held them back, it was rare for me to cry.  But as a young person, my tears would, on occasion, spew in explosive moments of anger in that “house of horrors.”  It was not wise to touch me in those moments ;)   Crying in moments of sadness wasn’t something I did then, I just felt kinda numb to life.  I think that’s the only way the mind can survive such an upbringing.

I am getting much better about sitting with sadness and allowing the tears to come.  But admittedly it’s a challenge.  It’s funny, ’cause I’ll just get a few tears out and I’ll excitedly say, “Yesssss!” LOL … and, yeah, that’ll make me laugh, and then it’s invariably difficult to get more to come.  So I feel even just a few are like gold :)   But it’s overwhelming when I think of all the things I still need to express “grief” about — and, lordy, I guess the Universe and this frog thing is going to actually expect me to keep this crying up from now on, ugh! LOL ;) 

But it does make me wonder just how much crying am I going to have to do?  How much is going to be enough?  And with just a few bits of “gold” here and there, how will I ever cry enough to heal all the way?  With a person who hurt me deeply not that long ago, it hasn’t been enough…the way he hurt me was too much like what I’d endured in those wicked younger years.  But I know this inability to forgive him is so not a good thing for me, my life…

Anyway, the frog totem has been hounding me to do a post about it’s lovely watery green energy ;)  …  and to cry some more, of course, heh   Maybe there are others out there that need this message too, so here are a few interpretations of the frog totem.

Oh, and this first one here has an elaborate article about the frog energy, including ways to connect with it and to get healing from it.  A worthy read.  And another wonderful site I found on the “Six Faces of Healing.” I posted her writing on the third face (I love how she describes tears — “melted diamonds”).  See source links below each section.

Peace,
Dove

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Frog Energy

Frog’s song calls down the cleansing power of the rain. Frog is a reminder of the sacred power of tears to tranform and cleanse away sorrow. Frogs will die if away from moisture for too long, and thus Frog reminds us to refresh ourselves, and allow joy to moisten our lives and our hearts. If you are feeling “muddied” by the world, take a moment to dream, to laugh and cry and renew yourself. Frog also reminds us to cleanse our bodies, our environments and our auric fields. People with Frog energy should learn and utilize methods of psychic cleansing.

Frog is able to work equally well in the realms of Earth/Air (conscious) and in Water (unconscious.), taking in the unconsicious almost by osmosis. Frog people are often artists, mystics, psychics and healers. They are often empathic, excellent at reading others and in knowing how to help them heal.

Care must be taken however, not to become swamped by taking in the emotions of others. Frog reminds us to cleanse our bodies, our environments and our auric fields. People with Frog energy should learn and utilize methods of psychic cleansing so that they do not become bogged down. It is imperative to learn how to recognize when people, situations and circumstances are draining energy, and to cleanse them out of your aura so that you may sing freely.

A tadpole’s shape mirrors that of the spermazoa. Frogs are often seen as a symbol of fertility and creativity. Frog people should nourish their creative side.

Frog people may go through many metamorphoses during their lives, and may change careers several times. Balance will come through respecting these changes and learning to go with the flow.

Source:  http://www.serioussilver.com/totemenergy/frog.html

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Frog:  Healing

For me, one of the most welcome signs of spring is the evening chorus of the spring peepers who live in the ponds and streams which lace the woods behind my house. Their song heralds the earth’s rebirth and renewal.

The idea of renewal is widely associated with water, which in turn represents the unblocking and flow of energy for healing. Frog, as an animal who spends its earliest life nurtured in water and who never is far from it, is in both North and South American Native and Celtic traditions identified with healing.

Frog is believed to call the rains when they are needed. Water cleanses and replenishes the earth, and in terms of healing, this animal’s medicine can help when our lives feel dry and dull, when we feel mired in the mud of circumstances, or when we have allowed emotional toxins to poison our outlook on life.

The deepest levels of healing are accomplished on the emotional level. Emotions are associated with water, especially in the context of tears. If we are brought up to believe that tears are shameful and childish, we deprive ourselves of a powerful form of emotional release. With the help of frog medicine, we can begin to experience tears as being as natural and necessary as rain.

Frog is also strongly associated with magic and transformation. Beginning life as an egg, it becomes a polliwog, then a frog. It is thus a reminder to us that life is a miracle of change and transformation.

This message is particularly embodied in the story of the Frog Prince. In the Scottish version of this story, a queen who was ill could only be healed by a drink from the well of true water. When each of her three daughters tried to get this water, a monstrous frog refused to allow them access unless they agreed to marry him. The youngest daughter agreed and was able to heal her mother. She also later discovered that her unattractive bridegroom was actually a prince.

This story teaches us that to heal ourselves (and others), it is often necessary to face that within ourselves which we have buried because we find it unacceptable, or “ugly.” When we can honestly look at all aspects of ourselves, we find that the “ugliness” washes away, and our true beauty shines, like the sun after healing rain.

Source:  http://www.rainbowcrystal.com/power/poweranimals/frog.html
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{Dove:  Ah, here’s a wonderful site that elaborates on “The Six Faces of Healing.”  The Third Face is “Cleansing,” and I was drawn to this part over her little blip on the frog totem.  This “face” is frog energy.  This site and these “faces” compel me, will return to read more.}
The Third Face of Healing:
Cleansing

After anger is released the tears can flow freely. Why do we cry? What is the pain we feel? The pain comes from a realization that we may or may not have been living in accordance with our soul’s truth. We cry for the past, mourning those times when we weren’t true to ourselves, or when others insisted we give up our truth. We cry for the present, grieving for all those attitudes, beliefs, even dis-eases, relationships, and life situations that we are giving up. We mourn the death of an old identity, and in its place, a new life springs forth. We cry because we are tired from hanging on to emotions, beliefs, and dis-ease that would leave us trapped in a life we don’t love.

We cry because we long for those who would love us as we are, not as they would wish us to be. We cry in terror, worrying if we can truly find this love and make our lives work if we walk through our fears, remove the masks, and show the world the true face of our soul. The tears release us from our bondage to the past and create the emptiness inside that is required for soul to find rest in our human hearts.

This mask is used to help us remember that there is beauty even in the pain of our grieving and sadness. Frog is a Native American symbol for cleansing. When you are at a pivotal point in life, clean your closets, check into your beliefs and sort through them, evaluate your relationships and your careers. What is your truth? Cleanse your life of all that is not you. Absolve yourself from guilt. Feel the pains of your sadness and your fears, and then let them go. Let the tears flow, and then let them go.

As the mask shows, the teardrops wash us from the inside out and then provide a fertile ground for new ideas to grow. The “water” falling from the ears tells us that we need to sort through all we have heard and been told about who we are and cleanse our minds of all that is not so. Who told you that you weren’t lovable? Who told you that you weren’t good enough? Who told you that life had to be difficult? Cleanse yourself of the lies that you’ve heard, and create a new truth.

From the tangled undergrowth of our confused thoughts, beauty arises. You feel empty inside, cleansed of all that is not you, and ready to grow into all that is truly you. You begin to bloom. Give yourself time to grieve when you are healing or in transition. This is a natural process of living. Tears are beautiful — melted diamonds that represent the essence of our soul.

Source: http://www.visionsofheaven.com/articles_docs/ARmasks.html
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The Frog Totem

The Frog Totem indicates metamorphoses and new directions in life. Frogs are often symbolized with a gold coin in their mouths signifying good luck and the energy of increased wealth.  Shamans felt that Frogs could make the quick and effortless leap from one stage of consciousness to another, thus they were a symbol of magic to them. The Frog was sacred to Venus the Roman Goddess of love and beauty. The Frog also has much legend surrounding it referring to it as a symbol of fertility. Many American Indian tribes refer to the Frog as the Great Rain Maker because they were thought to bring on the rains from above.

Frogs are amphibians; this word translates to “double life” because amphibians dwell on the land and in the water. Some Frogs hibernate in the winter months as their favored diet of insects is less available during that time of the year. They can live as long as forty years, with an average life span of four to fifteen years depending on species and habitat. There are 3,500 species of Frogs throughout the world. Frogs have lived on Earth for an estimated three-hundred and fifty million years. Several species of Frog are known to “sing” sometimes for mating or to mark territory or to announce a coming change in the weather. Frogs can be found all over the world with the exception of Iceland and Antarctica. They represent energy and metamorphosis because they change from their small tadpole form to that of the full grown frog. They also represent re-birth and resurrection. 

Frogs were extensively used in ancient China, by American Indians and throughout Europe for making medicines and potions. They were often thought of as a main ingredient in many witches’ brews and were thought to contain powerful medicine. Modern medicine has finally caught up and are coming to realize that the toxins and chemicals contained in a poisonous frogs secretions contain the secret to creating “miracle” drugs to aid everything from cancer to heart disease.

The second of the ten Plagues of Egypt as mentioned in the Book of Exodus, is the “Plague of Frogs”. These were prophesied by Moses to the Pharaoh of Egypt who refused to set the Jews free, whom he was holding captive and using as slaves. God chose the threat of using frogs to fill their homes and cover the land with them as punishment for refusing to grant Moses’ request.  

The Lucy Frog Totem possesses the following virtues: Good luck, transformation, creativity, adaptability, sudden change, fertility, healing, movement, metamorphosis, joy, wisdom, agility, wisdom to know when to rest and re-charge, re-birth, and magic.

Source:  http://www.manizone.co.uk/frog-animal-totem-a-45.html

By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  A day or so ago, I asked the Universe, through a book, what was in store for me in 2008.

I’ve mentioned on here before how one of my favorite ways to get answers is to do my “ask-a-book” ritual, and, although any book works, I especially love using a book called, “The Language of Letting Go,” by Melody Beattie.  The answers I get from it are invariably mind-blowingly specific, and on point.  And all I do is sit and fill my mind with the energy of my question (i.e., I think about it, focus intently on it) and then I simply open the book randomly. 

Like with the Tarot, I use my left hand, because it’s governed by our “right brain.”  And a quick interjection, isn’t it interesting how we generally use our right hand (governed by our logical left side), almost allowing our left arm/hand to atrophy.  A testament as to how we as a society hold our right-brain energy (feminine, intuition, emotion) in such low regard…  Anyway, I use my left hand so as to “stoke” my intuitive side.  I open the book and often “hear” what area of the two pages has my answer, like “Top, right.” 

With my question, “What’s in store for me in 2008?,” I opened to a section called, “Celebrate”   In the area of the two pages I was guided to, I zeroed in on this phrase as the specific answer, …”we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life“  Well, it’s about frickin’ time, lol ;)  Yay!  *turning cartwheels* lol  Sounds good to me :)   Another phrase here that jumps out, “I will indulge in the joy of celebrating.”  A wonderful message to get on the eve of a brand new year :)

Here are some other statements under this “Celebrate” section in the spirit of celebrating … and I feel are very on point.

“Take time to celebrate.  Celebrate your successes, your growth, your accomplishments.  Celebrate you and who you are.  For too long, you have been too hard on yourself.  Others have spilled their negative energy — their attitudes, beliefs, pain — on you.  It had nothing to do with you!  {Dove:  Hey, I told them that, lol}  All along you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.  {Dove:  Ahhh.}  You are…beautiful, a delight, a joy.  You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not.  Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.  When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it.  Pause, reflect, rejoice.  Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done… Celebrate all that is in your life.  Celebrate all that is good.  Celebrate you!”  :)

Now there is a bit of caveat on the opposite page.  The full statement per the phrase I mentioned above is this,

“Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may feel guilty about those we’ve left behind — those not recovering, those still in pain…a symptom of codependency.  We may get a phone call from a nonrecovering parent who relates his or her misery to us.  And we feel pulled into their pain … And yes, it hurts to leave behind those we love.  But keep moving forward anyway.  Be patient.  Other people’s recovery is not our business.”

There is a certain person in my not-so-distant past that I’m still working on forgiving.  I know forgiveness is for me, and that until I do it, it’s an obstacle in my life.  I don’t believe he’s “recovering,” or healing his heart from the traumas he’s endured in his life.  But I hope that he will, because I know, under all that insecure ego stuff, all that blaming of others, all that power-mongering, and that seeming need for deception to somehow keep himself “safe,” there is a good heart.  I’ve seen it :)  But I think the above message is to remind me not to allow him to pull me back into his unconscious need for conflict and problematic relationships, a need to have someone around that he can blame all his “bad luck” on.  He needs to know, it won’t ever be me again.

Yep, I’m gonna keep healing from all the icky stuff ;) and keep on growing in that wonderful self-love thing :) … and allow myself the joy of each and every, big and small, success along the way.  I’m gonna do as the Universe is advising through this fabulous book of incomparable wisdom.  I’m going to learn how, and allow the time, to really, really joyfully celebrate in 2008, yay! 

My mantra:  “Celebrate 2008, celebrate 2008, celebrate 2008! … “  Haha! ;)

Wishing all a mega-joyful celebration called 2008! 

Woohoo! *more cartwheels* lol ;)

Peace,
Dove

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