Boxes: “Never” and “Always”
December 12, 2007
Absolutes. I read a post today that used these two words (”never” this, “always” that) in a sentence as to how we are apparently supposed to conduct ourselves without exception. I keep asking myself why that bothers me so much. And what’s coming to me is it boxes us in, when there are no exceptions. It’s limiting, it’s suffocating, it’s controlling.
Ahh, I’m getting it now. Freedom. I’m big on freedom, and these boxes labeled “never” and “always” are stifling. They limit us, ya’ don’t dare peek outside the box even for a second — for a breath of “fresh air.” And with our tidy boxes of no exceptions, we are ripe and ready for judging others if they should dare go outside that box. When we say never or always, that’s it — no more talking about it, no opening for any other consideration, the door is shut, we’ve found the “truth.” Are there any truly valid absolutes? That’s just it, we don’t know. How do we even know what is a “good” or a “bad” outcome — how do we know that these are valid measuring sticks as to whether something is or is not an absolute truth. If we stop and think, we can all come up with a plethora of examples where people went against a supposed absolute and the outcome was wonderful — or they followed the rule of the supposed absolute and the outcome wasn’t so great. And again, how do we know that what we see as “good” or “bad” is a valid argument for an absolute anyway? We don’t truly see the big (big) picture — as to why everything happens the way it happens.
It just seems like it would promote freedom, and non-judgment if we simply trusted our own intuition from moment to moment, and allowed others to do the same without judgment, rather than stuffing ourselves and others in boxes with absolutes.
I think the most empowering thing we can do is to learn to trust our own heart, our own “intuition.” And the only way we can really do that is without boxes, trusting that we do the “right” thing every time we follow our intuition — no matter what the outcome looks like. Otherwise, we continue to go through life judging (aka hating) ourselves (and others) for supposedly making the “wrong” choice per some outcome that we don’t think looks pretty enough for this reality. And consequently, at best, we learn to only half-assed trust ourselves.
Many believe that we never make the “wrong” choice in anything that we do per the “big picture.” I tend to agree with that, and I believe my intuitive ability has strenghtened in that belief. It’s freeing. Ya’ trust “it,” and then you don’t worry about the outcome or what the supposed “truth” is. It doesn’t matter. What matters is building that strength of trust within us, and allowing and encouraging the same in others.
Peace,
Dove
