Talking Trees…
April 15, 2008
I started writing this on Saturday, but only had 30 minutes before quittin’ time, so I’m going to finish it now. It’s a bit of an update on the “411″ or “Magic Monday” thing and all the vultures that came out-of-the-blue a week ago…
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By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com Lordy, there’s so much synchronicity here, it’s gonna be a challenge to remember it all. Okay, on “Magic Monday” I got the number 411… And then the Vulture totem last Saturday (exactly a week ago)…
So yesterday was the day, 4-11-08. Nothing really spectacular happened, but I’ve gotten dates in the past and the “thing” happened the day before or after. A “spectacular” thing happened today, Saturday, 4-12-08. The second major car accident next to my workplace since I’ve been here (the first was about a year and a half ago, a Jaguar and a semi, head-on collision…) That one foretold a major “Tower” (Tarot card) experience for me that began about a month or so later — lasted about 4 months, but had a “happy ending.” Geez, I’m hoping this one isn’t foretelling anything similar, I’ve been rode hard by those “Tower” experiences in the last few years… And I just noted that the Vulture is on the Animal-Wise Tarot’s Tower card. Lovely. Even so, I’m hoping this one is pointing more toward the blissful end of “enlightenment” and since it seems to be tied to the 411(information?) … and “magic,” maybe that’s the case. Hmm, nice, I just got a “freedom” message – that’s another interpretation for the Tower card, and healing is yet another. And all of those are kinda intermingled…
This accident today (Saturday, 12th) I could have been a perfect witness for if I’d just been looking up from my desk — I could see the aftermath perfectly from my desk chair. But a co-worker actually had to draw my attention to it. He told me the details. I noticed the car that had caused the accident was yellow, it was totalled…I could see the front all crunched in. I focused on the yellow, the color of the third chakra, solar plexus. Noted that this is where the energy of our “will” is, it also makes me think of the sun (something I feel I’m still not getting enough of for my health/healing). I found it intriguing that the cars landed almost exactly where all the vultures were swirling last Saturday. The red car was the one hit, it flipped a couple of times and then landed back on its wheels. That driver hopped out of the passenger side, seemed okay…at first. He got on his cell phone and then dropped to the ground. A guy here said he must have been pumped with adrenaline, unaware he was hurt — the other guy seemed okay.
One fire truck was in my view, it had the number 2 on it. It reminded me of how I’d been seeing the Two of Cups in the Tarot a lot lately. That card often speaks of a love connection, but I think it’s been referencing my healing during this time — maybe both. Hmmm, a reference to healing…is my “will” all crunched up (the yellow car) and/or is this yet another message that I’m not getting enough sun? And has/does my crunched-up will adversely affect my root chakra (red car, spins wildly, but still manages to land upright)? Root chakra is about the physical (grounding, health, prosperity). I’m doing okay at the moment, better than in a long time — but am I just running on “adrenaline” (like the guy who didn’t know he was hurt)? That adrenaline thing is certainly an issue with me, I’m invariably panting when I arrive to work (from my rush to get here), can’t seem to shake that “need” to feel panicked… Just one of the many “issues” that I feel reflects trauma from childhood…
A few days ago I did have a less earth-shaking ”Tower” experience and I feel this might have been part of the reference to this week (the 4-11-08 message), and I’m in the process of “healing” it. I had planned part of that for this evening, but kept getting negative signs all day, and this car accident was the final straw. I called and cancelled my plans. Ahhh, I immediately felt better — yep, my “gut” was telling me this wasn’t the day for this important “outing” …
Wow, just so much overlapping “stuff” here. But the trees part of it fascinates me. Where I had planned on going this evening (but will now be going next week), the route there involves three streets, and I noticed they all have tree names (Ash, Walnut, etc) That seemed so cool… So I searched for the symbolic meaning of a couple of them just now and they both are on point as to what’s been coming up in the last few days. Like yesterday – I did a comment on a friend’s blog, {< — Update: I had the wrong link for the comment on sacrifice, but it’s corrected now) speaking of the Hanged Man card and sacrifice… She and I also had an awesome synchronicity the day before 4-11 (on April 10th), see the first two comments. “Double Magic“? ;) Another sync with she and I is, well, ”wood” is sort of a synchronous connection between she and I. Oh, man, there’s so much it’s hard to even write it all here. I forgot…right after I made the call to cancel my plans for this evening, and felt the relief of doing that, of trusting all the negative “vibes” I’d been feeling about it all day, I looked outside and noticed a license plate on a car parked in our lot that said, “Elm.” :) Yet another tree. Here’s the Elm interpretation I found:
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Elm tree symbolism includes strength of will and intuition. During the 18th and 19th centuries, elms were popular as ornamentals by virtue of their rapid growth and variety of foliage and forms. This popularity lasted until World War I when the consequences of hostilities, notably in Germnany, and the outbreak of Dutch elm disease saw the elm slide into horticultural decline. Elm wood is valued for its interlocking grain, and consequent resistance to splitting, with significant uses in wheels, chairs and coffins. The wood is also resistant to decay when permanently wet, and hollowed trunks were widely used as water pipes during the medieval period in Europe.
Source: http://www.livingartsoriginals.com/infoforests.htm
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Now the place where I was supposed to go (but, again, I cancelled/postponed) was on Ash. Here’s the Ash symbolic meaning…
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Ash tree symbolism includes sacrifice, sensitivity and higher awareness. The wood is white, strong, and straight-grained. Ash is the timber of choice for production of baseball bats and tool handles. The wood is also favorable for furniture and flooring. Ash is a large deciduous tree with smooth, gray bark on young trees which becomes fissured with age. The leaves are green above, white below, and turn yellow, red, or purple in the fall.
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Two other “secondary” streets were part of this, but I didn’t see them on this site, so maybe they aren’t as significant. Anyway, I just had a minute to put a bit of this here… There’s really so much more, like with the stuck door here at work, which everyone tried to fix and no one could yesterday (mentioned it on above-linked blog). It was finally fixed this morning. A resistance (mine, it would seem) message… So it’s all about resistance, will, sacrifice, healing. But thankfully, the door was finally fixed today :)
OH MY GAWD — I just looked out the window, and in the very same parking spot where the car was with the “ELM” on the tag is a truck and guess what the number is on the license plate :) … 4 1 1 … I’m talking a couple of minutes, between seeing those two. So the Universe is tying the meaning of the “Elm” symbol to the 411 message.
This is just PART of what I’ve seen today — the synchronicity is so prolific sometimes. It’s like it’s growing to a much higher “intensity” in my life. So awesome, so amazing — the tree symbolism is so cool! I’m just trying to convey to those who think I dream all this up or something that this life is so magical, but it only becomes so when we open our eyes to it…
The thing is, I’ve seen things like this for years, but what’s different and so exciting in this moment is the time factor — it’s happening so much more quickly. Like on “Magic Monday,” I was stunned to see the 411’s just ping-ping-ping like that, within minutes of each other — just like the “Elm” and today’s “411.” That’s a rush, even for someone who already knows the magic of it all :)
And the more we see it, the more we see it :) Sorry I typed this so fast, it’s kind of a jumbled mess and sooo much left out, but I just wanted to share the tree thing :) … and the magic. This reality is not at all what MOST PEOPLE THINK. It’s in no way mediocre, it is totally magical…we are totally magical. BUT, the way it works…if a magician (the way the Tarot references us) believes this reality is all mediocre, then mediocre it is – we’re Magicians :) We always get to choose (will) — and that’s something I “heard” often when I first began to do readings. “It’s your choice.” It’s always our choice as to what reality we create. It really is all just a different kind of a ”dream” :)
Now we just need to discover why we’re creating a “dream” where we’re manipulated, controlled and enslaved for the enrichment of others – while this amazing dream slips through our fingers… Hint, it’s all rooted in fear, especially the fear of “death” from this dream, and simply taking it all too seriously…
Peace,
Dove
April 15, 2008 at 10:45 pm
What I am trying to figure out here is this. So far just about every post I’ve read here (and I’ve really only read the things from whatever date I found this blog up to the present) has either:
1. Been full of weird similarities to my own experience
or
2. Contained extremely insightful information regarding my own situation.
If you had asked me a year ago, I would tell you that the whole idea that “everything happens for a reason” was pure bunk and that I didn’t believe in that kind of thing. And then, one by one, day by day, things started happening to me that has told me that the universe does things to reinforce what’s going on in your life. It’s akin to the “there are no accidents” belief, yet I’m not sure if every little move or action that happens is by some sort of “design”.
I say that to say this. It’s interesting that you mention “wood”. For a couple of reasons really. First of all, I made a silly post on my blog that involved wood. Secondly, I am currently in a seminar for work that involves tree identification as part of the training they are giving us. Finally, I have spent a lot of time likening my situation to “getting lost in the woods” (I borrowed the phrase from a book “I Know this Much is True” by Wally Lamb–which is fantastic btw lol) and recently I just moved back out of my parents house which is back in the woods and I saw the symbolism in that is a “new beginning”. A chance to rebuild.
Couple that with all the other stuff I’ve noticed (and haven’t really commented on) here and the insightful things you’ve said, I ask myself, why did I stumble onto this blog? What are we here to “teach” each other? I’m not sure if that’s totally on the topic of the post and am considering not posting this (lol) but ah well.
Anyways:
***Quote***
but am I just running on “adrenaline” (like the guy who didn’t know he was hurt)? That adrenaline thing is certainly an issue with me, I’m invariably panting when I arrive to work (from my rush to get here), can’t seem to shake that “need” to feel panicked… Just one of the many “issues” that I feel reflects trauma from childhood…
***End Quote***
I compare “running on adrenaline” to putting life on “autopilot”. It’s how we cope with what we are unable to process. We as people, when faced with intense situations, HAVE to block stuff out because we can only handle so much. We can only take so much. So when extreme situations rock us and flip our world upside down or we get in too big a hurry, our bodies send a signal to our brain and our brain says “Hey, wait a minute here, I can’t process all of this. Time to retaliate.”
The solution, I have discovered, is to slow down. Stop to smell the roses. Enjoy live and go back to the simple things that used to be good. A long walk, a stint of mediation, etc. Anything that gives us a chance to process what has happened to us and “empty ourselves out” (so to speak).
Just my $0.02.
April 16, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Those are some interesting synchronicities, James. Um, I think it means the Universe is telling you that I’m brilliant and that you should pay heed to everything I say, LOL!! ;) … heeheehee
:)
“weird similarities” = synchronicity
What I’ve come to learn is that synchronicity is a reflection that we’re on the right path. Ya’ might call it bread crumbs on our path :) Ultimately, we need to just learn to trust our own intuition, which I feel compelled to point out should be distinguished from our unwarranted fear. That is, sometimes people call it “intuition,” or “gut feeling” when really it’s about close-mindedness (fear/resistance).
But even in saying that, I don’t think we make “wrong” decisions in the “big picture.” We do what we do to learn what we need to learn… All ya’ have to do to see the truth in that is to think about past “bad” decisions that ultimately proved to be an important piece of the puzzle toward something much better in your life, closer to “heaven” right here in this life :)
And here’s another cool thing ;) When ya’ so often see that even your “bad” decisions turn out to ULTIMATELY be something that improves your life — this helps greatly toward trusting yourself, your own “intuition,” your own heart. And THAT takes us further away from fear, which is KEY to true FREEDOM, and key to learning that “faith” thing, and from those things, “magic” (”miracles”) doth come :)
As for the adrenaline issue, I agree, that slowing down, and meditation and all, those things are so crucial, so good for us. BUT what if you can’t get yourself to do that, there’s just something inside of you that so strongly resists doing these wonderful things (meditation is soooo important). When we resist these healing rituals, it reflects something in our subconscious that is very fearful per past traumas (usually from childhood).
These “damaged” parts of us are very powerful, they can create chaos in our lives (behold a world in such a state, reflective of so many of us like this).
I live a 5-minute walk from my job :) and yet I am panting every single morning when I get to work. Why? Well, let’s take this morning. My “excuse” (and I always have one, lol) is that I hadn’t done my yoga/meditation routine in a couple of days, and so I did it in spite of the fact that I didn’t really have time. And often it is some “self-care” thing that I’m trying to “make time” for…
But that’s my conscious reasoning :) It’s telling that I do this racing to work EVERY day. What we all do is CREATE THE FAMILIAR (”patterns”), spurred by the “stuff” in our subconscious.
I was raised in hell, to be blunt :) I lived and breathed fear throughout my childhood and beyond, living with abusive people, and in a very unsafe environment. So I lived in a constant state of fear, always on guard, always in “fight or flight” mode… adrenaline :)
So now I find myself at a point of peace, beginning to have many blessings bestowed upon me. But this isn’t what my heart knows, so oddly enough, I am SUBCONSCIOUSLY uncomfortable with this — the UNFAMILIAR. So I reach back, subconsiously, to what I know — a racing, fearful heart, an adrenaline rush.
I create some “excuse” every morning for having to race to work — it embarasses me. Co-workers seeing me do this, every morning. It makes me angry with myself, every morning. I endeavor to change it, every morning. And yet, somehow, “it’s always something” that creates it yet again…
The irony in relation to what you’re saying is that often my reason is so I can get my yoga and meditation (and/or exercise) done :) For some of us, it’s not so easy as to just say I’m going to meditate and make it all better. Some of us need to get down-and-dirty with those old traumas to get them out of us so as to heal. I’ve done some of that, it’s not easy. Some of us may have so much inside of us that we need someone else (a “professional”) to help us with it… I probably need someone like that (and I’ve gone to a few in the past who I know have helped), but generally it simply isn’t, um, “economically feasible.” And so I continue to endeavor to heal myself :) … and I have/am making progress, and MAYBE tomorrow I will actually walk to work slowly, enjoying them there roses along the way ;) Maybe :)
Peace,
Dove
April 17, 2008 at 12:01 am
***Quote***
That is, sometimes people call it “intuition,” or “gut feeling” when really it’s about close-mindedness (fear/resistance).
***End Quote***
I disagree about gut feelings being a part of close-mindedness. Sometimes they can be out of jealousy or fear, but a lot of the time your gut feelings are your built in “sensor” is, funnily enough, very similar to adrenaline. It’s the thing that kicks in when you are resisting seeing the truth about something or someone. Your “energy” however (I’m using your word lol) goes beyond the body and the eye and what you can phsically sense and taps into the other person’s (or thing’s) energy and is a radar of sorts that is telling you “Hey, something isn’t adding up here”.
The greatest piece of advice I ever got came from my brother (who heard it from a friend). He said, “Don’t trust your heart, because it can be deceived. Don’t trust your mind, because it can be tricked. Trust your gut, because it’s almost never wrong.”
Going back and reading the whole paragraph you wrote, I think we actually agree now that I read it again. lol Ah well, it’s a pretty solid point and we should listen to that gut feeling more often.
***Quote***
These “damaged” parts of us are very powerful, they can create chaos in our lives (behold a world in such a state, reflective of so many of us like this).
***End Quote***
Interesting word choice…”chaos”, because this is so exactly right. I believe there is a theory somewhere called the “Chaos Theory”, which basically says something like “the flap of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world can cause a Tsunami over half a world a way.”
The chaos that comes about in our lives (not always, but a good chunk of the time) is evidence of an imbalance in ourselves. A flaw, ever so small, that pushed out over time and allowed to flourish, can wreck havoc in our lives.
I can relate, however, to that procrastination and resistance to changing our lives for the better. For the longest time, I believed that I truly feared failure. And that that fear of failure drove me to do the things that actually caused my failures. I believed that because I feared something and refused to face that fear, that I was in fact bringing about the very thing that I feared.
And then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me that I don’t fear failure, I FEAR SUCCESS! I’m afraid of what my life would be like if everything was a success because I haven’t tasted major success in all areas of my life. I know failure. I know hard times. I know loneliness. I know all these things and because I fear CHANGE (something we as humans resist), I continue to do the things to stay where I am at–even if it means wallowing around in my own personal miseries.
What if, however, we dared to face our fear of SUCCESS? What if we stood in the face of the GOOD that we could have and just accepted it? What if we let go of our hard pasts, our tramautic experiences, and our failures and truly embraced the idea that we are good…that we deserve happiness. In fact, I saw a poster once for Buddhism (which I’ve really come to embrace and love–not as a religion, but rather as a way of life) that said:
“There is no way to happiness. Happiness IS the way.”
So true. So, so true. I personally spent so much time believing there was this “up there” that I would someday get to where everything was right, I was happy, and my life was hunky dory. What I’ve come to realize in the “journey” is that I will not find happiness, I must LIVE happiness. Be content where I am at all times, no matter how hard the path behind me has taken it’s toll. To embrace life and regardless of how busy or how much time we have to “empty ourselves out”, to enjoy the road we are on right now.
Stopping to smell the roses may be difficult, but if we BECOME the rose, we will smell them all the time. :D
***Quote***
I was raised in hell, to be blunt :) I lived and breathed fear throughout my childhood and beyond, living with abusive people, and in a very unsafe environment. So I lived in a constant state of fear, always on guard, always in “fight or flight” mode… adrenaline :)
***End Quote***
I don’t know how apt you are to talk about the hell you’ve been through, but I’d love to swap our hellish pasts sometime. I think you can email someone who makes a reply on your blog, so if you ever want to, don’t hesitate.
Anyways, I’m not sure how “hellish” my past is in comparison to yours, but I know that (in the past year or so especially) I’ve faced some pretty tramautic things. I had a pretty great childhood (no abuse or anything like that), but somewhere in my teen years I really “got lost in the woods” so to speak and I’ve been lost ever since. For the past year or so I’ve been trying to wander back out and it’s been one heck of struggle, but I’ve noticed that I’ve come so far and grown so much.
I say that to tell you not to give up. In our weakest moments, that’s when we are the strongest. Getting back up after going through “hell” is important, but what’s MORE important is taking the next step.
***Quote***
Some of us may have so much inside of us that we need someone else (a “professional”) to help us with it… I probably need someone like that (and I’ve gone to a few in the past who I know have helped), but generally it simply isn’t, um, “economically feasible.” And so I continue to endeavor to heal myself :) … and I have/am making progress, and MAYBE tomorrow I will actually walk to work slowly, enjoying them there roses along the way ;) Maybe :)
***End Quote***
Heh, I fight the late bug everyday too. I can’t blame it on doing meditation (something I hardly EVER get to do–but want to get back to so much), but rather my inability to wake up in the mornings. I am not a morning person at all. I do battle (lol) with my alarm clock everyday.
I blame it on needing a REASON to get up. What I mean is, I really don’t like my job. So, I have created this “problem” where I am an insomiac at night and I can’t wake up in the mornings to get to work on time (I’m usually always about 5 minutes late).
The RESISTANCE to working a job I hate, has in turn created this “problem”. Whereas it’s not really a problem. Not really. All I have to do is find something I LOVE to do, and this problem would solve itself. I would go to bed earlier. I would be aching to get out of bed when the alarm goes off. It’s an interesting cycle. And I bring it up because it touches on two things I’ve learned:
1. There is always a root cause to all our problems and we don’t always apply the right solutions.
and
2. There is the “truth” and then there is the “truth behind the truth”. Or to put it another way, there is what we THINK is the truth and then there is the REAL truth which we delude ourselves so well from accepting because we do not like to view our negativity.
I strive to listen and speak for and from the truth itself.
Haha, now I’m rambling. lol I’ll quit now. You ARE brilliant…but are you as brilliant as me? lol
April 17, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I think I’m seeing some similarity now in our energy, lol :) Um, I’m curious, have you looked at my website? http://www.TarotwithLove.com I am very big on “intuition” and “gut feelings” ;)
I also have some published articles on there that you might enjoy. One was published in the Sedona Journal a few years ago, it elaborates on how I first came to use the Tarot, despite some potent resistance to it :)
Ah, I am a morning person, I love getting up very early when it’s nice and quiet. So alas, that’s not the “cure” :) Believe it or not, I’ve gotten up at 3:30 am to try and counter this issue with me, with the same result. We recovering control freaks :) think we can fix things in that way, from the outside — it doesn’t work that way. It has to start from within… (I tend to draw these, um, recovering control freaks — and they rarely listen well, but they always know the answer to MY probs, heh…note, I’m being facetious here)
I’d say you’re either a very young one, in your 20’s? Or, you’re an older person who has been in resistance mode for quite some time (I can relate). We tend to come across as young-ish despite our age when we have yet to heal our emotional “issues.” That’s the energy of the “little ones” within us (us, as children) that have been dishonored (ignored). You might read my article called “Words + Emotions…” on my website to get a bit more on that topic.
I actually love my job, the most enjoyable one I’ve ever had :) This is why I know I’ve made progress… It’s also helped me know in a big way how our energy creates our experiences, our reality. I’m living a VERY atypical life, including my job… But my point here is, as I previously indicated, that this prob is about my emotional issues (unhealed trauma from childhood), it has nothing to do with my job. I’m not speculating, I know this is the root of my prob :) Those who feel one should just be able to snap right out of it are generally those who haven’t a clue about such things — it’s akin to telling an alcoholic to snap out of it and just go be a rose, lol ;) But I totally understand the concept of being the rose, and I otherwise agree :)
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“The RESISTANCE to working a job I hate, has in turn created this “problem”. Whereas it’s not really a problem. Not really. All I have to do is find something I LOVE to do, and this problem would solve itself.”
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Ha, a typical control-freak statement, lol ;) Note that I am including myself in that category. Your resistance to working a job you hate is understandable. It is your resistance to CHANGING yourself so as to end that misery that is the problem. And I can tell ya’ right now that’s a hard-assed road — when you start changing, that energy within you will eliminate that job you hate, and any subsequent ones you try to latch onto… When we’re in change mode, we’re in “Tower” mode — and our faulty foundation begins to crumble. We start losing that which we’ve clung to for way too long… If you stopped resisting, you would likely lose that job you hate…and it’s likely that it will be before you find a new one. Ya’ have to be in “limbo” for a time, that’s what makes it a challenge. Ya’ have to be in that moment when you let go of one thing before you have another. Most of us can’t tolerate that. But it is that moment between two trapezes that is magical, dangling in mid-air, no net in sight.
That moment is magical. That’s really the moment of “faith.” There’s no way around it to get to the truly good stuff :)
Peace,
Dove
April 17, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Ah, I just had the coolest epiphany. Besides the faith part, the reason we have to let go of the old “trapeze” (job, person, situation, etc) is because when we are still holding onto it, that energy remains with us — and like attracts like :) That is, if we have a lemon in one hand, when we reach out for something new, we’ll just grab another lemon (like energy attracts like energy). No way to grab onto a shiny new apple (something we love) when we’re still clinging to that old lemon (something we hate).
That’s just the way it works, ya’ gotta let go completely — ya’ can’t still be whining about nor pining for that old “thing” — before you can truly create or draw something better to you.
April 17, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Good guess on the age. I’m 26.
It’s interesting that you talk about control. I like to delude myself into thinking I’m not a complete control freak, but the “truth behind the truth” (which I discovered in an old blog post that I posted in a blog long since gone) is that it’s one of my largest problems.
In my marriage I didn’t realize just how controlling I tried to be. In retrospect (when I made the post) I started realizing how many different things I did that were so beyond controlling and it made me sick to my stomach. The moment of realization was hard for me in that retrospect because I believe that “control” is rooted in that emotion that I am so afraid of: anger. To face “control”, I also had to face anger, and that was something that I am scared to do because I believe that buried underneath the surface I probably have intense anger issues to deal with.
To combat the “controlling” -ness (lol) I tried “swinging the pendellum” to the other end of the spectrum. I had a relationship in which everything was free. There were no boundaries to the relationship and I noticed that it flourished for a while. It was freeing for a while. Slowly but surely, however, those controlling attitudes started creeping back in. But what fooled me was that it was in DIFFERENT ways. I knew all the ways I was controlling before, so I knew how to fix THAT (and I did), but it was a “surface treatment”. The root of the problem hadn’t been resolved and as a result it manifested itself in other ways.
To be quite honest, I have NO IDEA how to let go. I’ve tried so many times and I am at a complete loss. I get close sometimes, I feel, but everything I’ve tried so far hasn’t really worked. I keep migrating back to the “old me” after making changes and trying new experiences.
Heh, I also didn’t mean to come across as “preachy” (I tend to do that sometimes because I want to help people who have similar problems as me). I assure you that I don’t know the solution to your problems (although I’ll throw out things that have worked for me that may be helpful to you). I learned a long time ago, however, that to try and solve someone else’s problems (which is kinda controlling in itself) is futile–even though I have a tendency to want to do it. The best thing, I’ve found, is to just listen to people and let them vent their problems. They will find their own way and their own path.
But yeah, even though I realize that, I still have a tendency to try and solve other people’s problems for them. lol
Control freaks of the world, unite!
April 17, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Unite’s ass, lol … Control freaks do not play nice together, lol Think about it. We like telling others what they “need” to do, but we loathe being told what to do, lol
And the fact is most of us are control freaks, just in varying degrees, and I have come to discover, we express it in very different ways (some people are blatantly controlling, others do it in a very passive way). It’s also another reason why marriage doesn’t work, why the divorce rate is so high, it’s all about control… And it’s understandable. You don’t raise people in a mega-controlling society such as ours without creating mega-controlling people.
But I’m glad you realize you have this problem and are actively trying to overcome it. I think our need to control others is a reflection of our desire to control ourselves, specifically a desire to “control” our emotions, more accurately, to CONTAIN them — being Mr. or Miss “Fix-it” instead of Mr. or Miss “Compassion” :)
By being the “Fix-it” person, we stay disconnected, even “above” it, we don’t really LISTEN to what the other person is trying to say to us…
Both truly listening and allowing ourselves to have compassion requires OPENING ourselves up to the other person…being a bit vulnerable even. That’s too risky. Much easier to be Mr. or Miss Fix-it. But we mean well, we do wanna help…we’re just fearful of our emotions, so we tend to hurt/offend rather than help.
Yep, I think the answer is we need to stop trying to fix everything, and work on first learning how to love, not fix, ourselves, so we can then love others. But Job One is healing all those fears/hurts we have from the past.
Hmm, the Universe is amazing — a guy JUST NOW walked up to my desk to ask me a question. He had a black t-shirt on with white lettering across his chest. One word: “Connect”
Yep :) … but we gotta “connect” to ourselves first.
Peace,
Dove
April 17, 2008 at 7:39 pm
***Quote***
Both truly listening and allowing ourselves to have compassion requires OPENING ourselves up to the other person…being a bit vulnerable even.
***End Quote****
Ding Ding Ding! Tell them what she’s won, Bob! She just answered the million dollar question! Opening up and vulnerability are two things that I’m not so sure I have the energy to do anymore. Why does opening up always mean that you gotta get hurt? Why can’t, just once in a while–not all the time even, just ONCE opening up to someone didn’t mean that you have to get hurt? Answer me that question, and I will feed you grapes. lol
April 17, 2008 at 8:10 pm
“Why can’t, just once in a while–not all the time even, just ONCE opening up to someone didn’t mean that you have to get hurt?”
Hello? Are you listening? ;)
1) Remember the “magic” happens in that place where you get no guarantees, that dangling-in-air-with-no-net thing — that’s why it’s called “faith” :)
2) You create it all. If you don’t like what you’re experiencing, change it. By changing you, your energy (thoughts/beliefs), you’ll change your reality. Your statement above makes it clear what your belief is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. “Believe and it shall be so.” I wish I could help you to know that, but you will have to learn this from your own experiences. Step One, allow yourself to open to the truth of it. How? Do some affirmation of some simple thing that you’d like to manifest. Say it, think it, but most importantly FEEL what it would feel like to have it. Something simple, something that you could actually get yourself to believe. Now keep doing that until you see how amazingly powerful your energy is (thoughts/words + feelings/emotions = BELIEFS)
3) If others aren’t treating you the way you wish to be treated, ask yourself if you’re treating yourself the way you wish to be treated. Love yourself — TRULY love yourself, and others will love you. If you can’t love yourself, “pretend” that you do (mucho good self-care and stellar self-talk), until you do. Your thoughts/beliefs are ENERGY, they create. Change them and you’ll create accordingly.
Oh damn, was that being controlling? lol ;) Um, okay, healing (changing) takes time :)
April 18, 2008 at 11:50 am
lol It’s only controlling if I didn’t ask for it. So I’ll forgive you just this once. :P (j/k)
1) I think you might need to explain that one some more. I read what you wrote the first time, but I’m not sure I quite got what you were trying to say. I wasn’t sure if you were trying to say either:
-To quite my job and have some faith that another job would come along
or
-To learn to be CONTENT with my job and when I learn to be content where I am at, I will be in the correct “mode” to be open to changing and receiving a new job
2)How exactly do you change your thoughts and beliefs? About a year ago, I read about every type of self-help book I could get my hands on. And while most of them weren’t linked to psychic/spiritual types of realms, they pretty much all said the same thing that you are saying (in a different way). Long story short, I’ve tried the ole coo coo (haha!) affirmations kinda thing, taken the positivity challenge, and all that jazz, but it always seems that no matter how much I grow and change, my old beliefs creep back in. I’m having trouble making the new beliefs permanent.
April 18, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Okay, let’s see… I actually received something in my email just now that … yikes, a little spider just zipped across my desk (a lot of sweet Nature outside — I love my job, glass walls…). Lordy, the Universe seems to be trying to assist me in a big way toward conveying these things to you — and whoever else might be reading this.
I was about to say this email I received has much of the same “energy” of what we’ve been talking about — even speaks of the importance of “connecting,” which gave me a rush, since I’d just gotten that word on the t-shirt yesterday, “connect.” So we’re doing cool things here ;)
But the Spider wants us to take notice of it first…and admittedly, in the instant it showed up I was thinking about how we create things, and the Spider is all about creativity — She is the big mama of it, heh Just look at those phenomenal webs.
Here are some excerpts of one interpretation for the meaning of her appearance (I’ll bold the key points):
===============
“The Spider
Many stories exist about the weaver, Grandmother spider. She carried on her back the gift of fire in a basket that she wove and presented it to the people. In another story it is said that her web bound all things together and formed the foundation of earth…
These legends give the spider a link to the past and the future, birth and creation. When the spider crawls into our awareness it is asking us to rebuild the web of our life in accordance with the design the creator gave us. {Dove: We are the “creator,” design your life in a way that brings you JOY…use your powerful intention. The email I mentioned says, look at your environment, your home, make it the way you want it, paint the walls, get rid of the ugly stuff, replace them with things that reflect what you truly love…changing the outside in these “gentle” ways, will help to change the inner, will help to change you, your energy…}
…
The construction of a web is linked to the geometry of creation. In the construction of an orb web the spider releases a sticky silken thread into the wind. If the breeze carries the thread to a spot where it sticks the first bridge is formed. Spider cautiously crosses the line reinforcing it with a second. This process continues until a frame is constructed in which the web can secure itself. Bridges serve as a link tying all things together and remind us of our interconnectedness to all life.
The spider shows us that the past, the present and the future are all interwoven. It awakens our intuitive creative senses and encourages us to design the fabric of our lives from our souls original intention.
…
Because spiders are actually very delicate they embody the energy of gentleness. Spiders are not usually aggressive unless they are defending their lives. Moving forward in all situations with a gentle strength is a skill that often needs to be learned for those with this totem. In man, the bite of a poisonous spider symbolizes a death, rebirth process. Poison enters the nervous system and the body either transmutes it or falls victim to its venom and dies.
The spider signifies the tapestry of life. The web we weave is the reality we experience. Choosing the appropriate path is one of the lessons associated with this medicine.
Source: http://www.sayahda.com/cyc4.html
============================
So there’s your answer, straight from the Spider :)
Oh, I just had another epiphany, lol A dream I had the other day, it spoke of “intolerance” and how I would pay the price (a woman told me I’d get a “ticket,” lol) if I chose to be “intolerant.” What it was saying is the things in my life that I most HATE are the things that are going to be the most difficult to rid myself of. That’s another energy thing :) Our energy draws things to us, it also keeps things attached to us. Again, our energy, ESPECIALLY PASSIONATE ENERGY (fear/hate, love/joy) is POWERFUL. If you can get the truth of that, James, it will be a big shift toward getting what you want, designing the life you desire.
No, I’m not telling you to quit your job, and the likelihood is that even if you did, you’d just get another one that you dislike just as much. Again, you have to change you first. When you truly do that, that which does not align with the “new you,” will fall away… Yes, be “tolerant” of that which you can’t change in this moment, while you endeavor to “gently” change you.
Healing takes a while, generally — no easy fix. Be gentle with yourself and your actions toward change — forcing and trying to “make things happen” NOW, and having impatience with yourself and your situation, these reek of the control freak thing. That all goes against that still moment of faith BETWEEN the old reality and the new one :) See the lemon and apple story again. And think about the womb, the void, nothingness — there must be a “void” an empty space, room for a new creation to begin. So you must clear away the old, inside and out, so as to make room for the new.
It’s not about “positive thinking.” That’s just part of the equation. It takes the energy of both the heart (emotions/feelings) and the mind (thoughts/words). If you’re sayin’ and thinkin’ it but are doubting it in your heart, you’re wasting your time.
The heart is the big powerhouse. Again, FEEL IT, as if it were already the truth. I think the bible says that we should know after we ask for something that it is already done. This is a hint. Effectively “PRETEND” that it is the truth, and it will become the truth. But every shadow of doubt that you allow into your heart, is a step backward in the process. You’re speaking to the Universe with this energy — doubts and fears (as well as whining, blaming and assorted bitching, lol) muck up that important communication.
‘kay? ;)
Peace,
Dove
April 18, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Ok, do you have any idea just how insightful what you just said was? Of course you do, lol. But I’m sort of reeling from it. You are writing as if you know me (I figure you may have heard that before) and have touched on some extremely specific things (which I’ll keep to myself for now hehe) which really reiterate and enforce the truth behind what you are saying.
How’s this for weird–you might appreciate this. Last night was my first night back from a trip for work. I just recently moved into a new apartment and one of my biggest worries when I rent is if the place is going to be infested with roaches. lol I can handle most anything else, but way back in college I rented an apartment that had roaches and it was the most unsettling experience of my life. Moving out was a pain too because I didn’t want to take them with me, so I had to spray everything with bug spray and throw a bunch of stuff away. Luckily, they didn’t follow me and–knock on wood–I haven’t had the problem since.
Anyways, last night I got home. When I left on Tuesday, it was still really cold here. The place I went to was up in the mountains, so it was still cold up there all week. When I got home, however, it was really warm here. Spring, i assume has finally arrived.
I had to get some groceries, so I went and got them. When I got home and was unpacking my groceries, I looked down on the floor and there was this tiny little spider. I saw the movement out of the corner of my eye and my intial reaction was “Oh **** a roach!” But no, it was just a spider.
I remember thinking to myself “Oh, the first bug of the spring. I can handle spiders. They aren’t too bad.”
Then I mashed the little guy with my foot (did I just crush my creative energy by not scooping him up and throwing him outside? LOL).
Hehehe…anyways, the fact that you bring up spiders and that you noticed a spider yourself is pretty cool I think. And the message you quoted and the things you said…very cool. I needed to hear all that. I really liked that what you said about FEELING the positivity instead of just affirming it.
You’re saying all the right things here, and I just wanted you to know that. :D
April 18, 2008 at 5:36 pm
lol, that same thought crossed my mind, about smacking the spider — which I did! lol … and always do.
Okay, here’s my take on it, and that may not align with others — and I’m good with that ;) That spider brought me a message with its presence, but its physical reality was a threat to my safety. They bite! It was too close to me, and so I smacked it without malice, just self-defense. It made that sacrifice. I try to remember to bless them and thank them for the message and sacrifice (if they don’t get away in time, heh) — just like when I eat meat. It is clearly part of this reality, ending the life of other beings at times. We should honor our own life and safety…other animals do :) Again, there was no malice in my heart. I adore nature, and see the spider as totally precious and amazing. I didn’t cause it to cease to exist, I just helped it along to its destiny, opened the door for its next life :) It carries the same energy as me, and none of it (this energy that is in all of us) truly dies. We don’t die. There’s a book by that title that I read years ago, it’s a great read :)
And no, generally, I don’t see that as smacking down the creativity, it’s a completely separate thing in my mind.
April 18, 2008 at 6:10 pm
No, malice would be my brother–who keeps a blowtorch up in his office for when he sees spiders. Most people keep flyswatters or magazines, but my brother has to keep a torch. lol
I wonder if I could apply my “be the rose” analogy here. I could BE the spider. Running across people’s desks, getting swatted at, bringing creativity and sprinkling it wherever I go. lol I’m sort of joking.
Of all things, a spider is the symbol of creativity? That’s weird to me. I would think of a dove or some sort of winged creature to symbolize creativity.
April 18, 2008 at 7:30 pm
What, are you kidding me? Ever seen a large spider web on a dewy spring morning, glistening with all its amazing intricacy and beauty? Guh, you don’t see the creativity in that? Note, the spider actually creates that web, lol
Hey, I’ve gotta an idea. We have all kinds of living beings in our bodies, bacteria in our mouths and other fun places, lol ;) We kill some of them when we use mouthwash, deodorant, etc, and we kill more still when we eat certain things they don’t like — it maintains a balance in our bodies, ’cause we need a certain amount of these little beings (like “good bacteria” in our digestive system). Other living beings cause us more severe problems, viruses and other “bugs” and we take medicines to kill them…
Ya’ might try being some of those living beings :) Try to outrun those nasty antibiotics, lol Hey, even try being some of the ants you step on when you walk to your car or when you walk down a dirt path, killing all kinds a little bug beings :) BE them :) … try to back into the corner or crevice of someone’s mouth before mouthwash gets to ya’ lol ;)
Ya’ see, hon, killing other beings is just part of this life. Viruses and other beings that live within us would like to live just as much as us (their resistance to our remedies is an indicator) and the spider and the ants on your walking path, so why not make sure you don’t kill them? Because the only way we will never kill another living being is to die ourselves.
The way Nature, and this reality, works is that some beings must die so others can live. This creates balance…
Our problem is our fear of death, thinking this reality is the end all and be all. It’s a wonderful gift, this life, this “reality,” but we fail to accept or embrace that it is very finite. A true horror would be a world where beings continued to be born, yet nothing ever died on this finite planet. Can you imagine the horror, the SUFFERING?
Human animals who feel they know better than Nature have created horrors, suffering, IMBALANCE in our world, going to ludicrous extremes, ironically, with feelings that they are “higher” than other beings… In Nature, in the wild, this process of life and death goes on continually and blatantly. Why don’t we go and try to fix that? Isn’t it horrible — all that death?
Ya’ see, such a suggestion is an absurdity. Death is part of life. We are not above nor wiser than Nature. To try and “save” one being in Nature would be to ensure the death of another. So who do ya’ save? The fly from the spider, the spider from that wicked ole frog? …
INTENTION is what truly matters, not actions. The energy from our hearts is what we should concern ourselves with…and let Nature be Nature, including the Nature within us.
This thread is getting mega-lengthy, James, so I’m going to end it here. Feel free to email me if you have anymore questions.
Peace,
Dove
April 25, 2008 at 5:11 pm
It is a wild and magical ride! I love how aware you are!
April 25, 2008 at 5:19 pm
thanks tobeme :)
May 3, 2008 at 3:16 pm
[...] Relative to the peace theme, I recently wrote the following in a comment on my blog, “Talking Trees.” [...]