.:|:. Dove Love’s .:. Points and Passions .:|:.

By Dove, www.TarotwithLove.com  I know it’s not a particularly attractive bird, but the Vulture is, oddly enough, called “the peace eagle.”  I just learned that yesterday.  This totem came to me in a big way yesterday. 

We were having this event at work, a few hundred people were congregated outside.  I was sitting at my desk, but I’m right at the front and can see everything outside (glass walls).  The event was about to conclude, and all of a sudden this massive number of vultures appeared over the crowd.  I tried to count them, but they were swirling around and it was just too many to count.  I’d guess maybe 10 or 15 vultures. 

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Vulture Totem Interpretations…

Death and Rebirth
New Vision

The Vulture is the symbol of death and rebirth,
the mother symbol,
and represents purification.
For those with this totem,
you will be noticed more for what you do than
how you appear.

Vulture or Condor
teaches us how to soar above our limitations.
It is linked to the Griffin.
This Totem is a permanent totem; once it enters your life
it will be with you always, through your numerous lifetimes.

You may start to see auras and colors around people;
Vulture can help teach you how to accomplish this through patience and vision.

Vultures teach you how to soar without using much energy,
how to ride the thermal winds instead of flapping.
Go with the flow.
Use your own energy powerfully and efficiently.

Vulture is associated with the sense of smell and aromatherapy is a good tool
to use to connect with this Totem.

The Vulture promises us that no matter how difficult things are at the moment,
rescue and change are imminent.

Soar above the drudgeries of every day life through spirit.
And Vulture/Condor is there to protect you in this journey.

Source: http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pages/vulture.htm

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More Vulture totem intepretations:

http://www.wildspeak.com/vilturj/totems/wvulture.html

http://westmanpreacher.blogspot.com/2007/09/vulture-as-totem.html

http://www.sayahda.com/cyc5.html

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It freaked me out, because that’s the Universe speaking to me in a big way.  I’ve gotten the vulture totem in the past, but it was usually just one or two of them.  Geez, it makes me wonder what’s about to happen.  The date I’d been getting on “Magic Monday” is rapidly approaching and I’m wondering if this totem is pointing to this day.  It also reminds me of the message I’d gotten earlier this year about “pain, resurrection and then peace,” as well as the recent dream with the camels and the fox.

I’m not thrilled about the need for more pain in my healing journey, but I got another message last night that may have been pointing to that “pain,” and it’s aligned with what I figured this previous message spoke of.  I’ve had this one book for years and have been trying to get myself to read it recently.  It’s about healing one’s eyesight naturally, it’s called “Take Off Your Glasses and See” by Jacob Liberman.  (Note: In no way did the mention of “new vision” in the above Vulture totem interpretation spur me to this book on healing one’s eyesight — in fact, I just noticed that synchronicity in posting it here today.)

Last night I finally picked it up.  I did as I often do with books, before opening, I asked to be shown the most important part in the book for me at this time.  When I opened it, there was an emphasis on the importance of both pages.  Here’s a potent excerpt from those pages, the first thing I read on the left page…

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 …”we spend years resisting exactly what we need in order to cure our ‘nonexistent incurable disorders.’ 

Since we spend many years avoiding those difficult feelings, it can be quite a challenge at first to acknowledge them.  However when we begin to feel them fully, painful, self-defeating emotional patterns actually do begin to shift.  Emotional healing seems to take place as we allow ourselves to feel our deepest pain.  You could say that this process is like allowing a fever to run its course rather than suppressing it with aspirin.”

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It seems apparent to me that this is the pain that was referenced in that earlier message.  I feel like I have scratched the surface of feeling this pain, but there’s so much from my past… It’s overwhelming.  And my anger seems to be what I’m most able to bring up … I don’t think I’ve ever allowed myelf to feel grief and related emotions …  That’s probably because I feel strong when I feel my anger, and like most people, I very much don’t like feeling vulnerable and weak, as those other emotions seem to represent.  Ya’ know, “strong” people just “shake off” those types of things, like an idiot told me in the past, heh  { Update:  In re-reading this, I’d very much like to delete that last statement per the “idiot” thing, but I prefer to be honest, to allow myself to have that honest expression, and to give less of a damn what people think of me for it.  To those who would judge me for being so “imperfect,” bite me, I’m human…oh, and have a nice day, lol ;) }

A little synchronicity with the aspirin.  A guy yesterday during the above-mentioned event came up to me, said he had a headache, and asked me if I had an aspirin…  I had a great day yesterday, but kept seeing the number 5 a lot.  I turned back to see the title of the chapter where I’d opened the eyesight book.  It is Chapter 5, “Seeing Through the Fear”  I had a terrible anxiety attack last night, lasting a few hours, as usual.  As enjoyable as the event was yesterday, I never realize that such things, the number of people, the energy of it all, are overwhelming me… 

More from the two pages…

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“Think of the last time you felt really uncomfortable.  Recall that feeling as vividly as you can.  Re-experience it as completely as possible.  What happened to trigger that feeling? What was your automatic response?”

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Geez, I could think of several of these moments yesterday.  About the only time I don’t feel them is when I’m alone.  When I first arrived at work, a girl that relieves me for breaks was at my desk and the guys were around the desk chatting with her.  I felt threatened.  Why the hell was she at my desk at this time of day? (I do like her and there was a good reason that she was there.)  …  But I didn’t show my insecure feelings, quite the contrary.  I exuded confidence, chimed right in with the conversation, was joking around, and immediately got everyone to laughing.  Even so, that was likely the first “straw” on the camel’s back of my anxiety attack last night.  Then my boss seemed like he was angry with me (of course, I always think that, lol), and I often think this just because he walks passed my desk without speaking (several times per day, he’s busy for gawd’s sake!).  Geez.  And when guys, especially strangers – or just people — get close to me.  And when this one guy from the event yesterday was “hitting” on me, trying to get me to go out with him, very uncomfortable.  I never know what to say when I totally don’t want to go out with someone, a very unnerving situation for me…  Lordy, everything makes me UNCOMFORTABLE.  An intuitive in my past told me that I’m pretty much always in “fight or flight” mode…  I’ve just learned to live with it.  So where do ya’ start with all those uncomfortable situations?  Overwhelming.  I think that’s why I don’t.

What concerns me though is by not doing so, I fuel the likelihood of repeating painful patterns.  More from the pages…

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“Like vision problems, our most uncomfortable feelings are chronic.  They keep coming back until we realize that the problem isn’t outside ourselves, in the other person or the external events.  The outside events simply create a resonance, a self-recognition, in our vibrational field.  …

“Now think back to that painful experience or any other difficult experience with a strong emotional charge.  Have those feelings come up again since then?  How long did it take before you had those feelings again?  Then, no matter what changes you decided to make after the first experience, did you eventually get into another situation that felt similar? 

Usually before you know it, you become involved in another experience with the same feeling.  This cycle can continue indefinitely.  How can we learn to shift out of those blocked places?  Sometimes it seems that the harder we try, the more stuck we feel.  But there is a remedy:  awareness. 

…  Awareness is simply a matter of experiencing every moment of life as fully as possible.  Greater awareness does not happen when we try to pay close attention — that effort actually requires a narrowing of one’s focus.  True awareness is an expansive, effortless process. 

Humans have developed a variety of wonderful tricks to avoid being “in the moment.”  Eastern gurus say that the majority of our mental and physical activities arise from the urge to distract ourselves from our awareness rather than out of any truly purposeful need.  I’ve found that the desire to avoid seeing life fully (and therefore feeling life fully) is also the fundamental origin of vision problems.  Most people become bored, anxious, or uncomfortable when they have to sit quietly for even a few minutes … those disconcerting feelings are why we continually seek distractions, and why the Eastern spiritual traditions place so much emphasis on meditation.”

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Hmmm, this reminds me of a guy I know who can’t sit still for 5 minutes.  I’m sadly so much like that guy, and that being the case, I’ve got a lot of healing to do, lol ;)  This morning I was looking at a “coffee table” book I’m going to give to a friend at work next week.  I kept looking for this one beautiful picture that I like so much.  I couldn’t find it, it was annoying, I fanned through the book several times looking for it to no avail.  Finally, I stopped my wild searching and with a nano-second’s worth of energy, asked to be directed to the pic that I sought.  I closed the book and, as always, I poked a fingernail into the book’s pages randomly.  I opened it to a lovely picture of purple flowers.  I said, “No, I like this picture, but it’s not the one.”  I turned the page (one page) and there it was, the beautiful picture I had been seeking :) 

Hmmm, the answers are so close, we just need to settle down from all our fearing and wild seeking, and just ask, and trust that our healing, the beauty, is just a page away ;)

Peace,
Dove