“You have a good day, darlin’”
August 22, 2007
“You have a good day, darlin’” … A guy just said that to me as he walked out the door where I work. And it kinda warmed me :) despite my usual aversion to terms like “darlin’, ” “gal,” “sweetie” and the like — coming from total strangers (I especially dislike the term ”gal”). Admittedly, being referenced in such a way and even finding it endearing is a rare bird for me.
I dunno, either I’m slippin’ in my older years or I’m learning that you can’t always apply a hard-and-fast rule to such things. If some citified fat cat had said it to me, it probably would have set my cork to bobbin’ (lol…I’m so influenced by my southern roots)…but this guy is just a good ole country boy who meant nothing but kindness and respect with that “darlin’” So, I’m okay with that…again, it kinda warmed me in an otherwise cold moment.
Hmmm, I don’t think I’m mellowing on this issue of disrespectful or condescending terms per my feminist views, I’m just seeing that ya’ kinda gotta take ‘em as they come, use that wonderful intuition we all have :) I think that’s one of the reasons we have it. I don’t think we need rigid rules for anything — in fact, that’s one of our problems in this screwed up world. So many rules, ready to shoot down anyone and everyone who breaks them. No exceptions. That’s BS, there are exceptions and they should always be considered.
“Guidelines” are a good thing, but I think we surely need to learn to trust our own heart in each moment.
2 Responses to ““You have a good day, darlin’””
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August 23, 2007 at 3:11 pm
So true! I think for many of us, it is necessary to go through the knee-jerk phase before we can come full circle and see that each incident is different and must be judged within its context. Life is too short to spend it worked up over words. Plus what does that achieve? Perhaps better to live ones life in the most conscious way possible and hope in time that sexism and bigotry become extinct through our collective evolution.
August 23, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Hi K :) Thanks for commenting. I don’t know about the “hope in time that sexism and bigotry (will) become extinct” part, but I do agree that we shouldn’t let ourselves get too “worked up” about it. Crazy anger isn’t very productive (unless you’re working through issues in private), but I think righteous indignation can be a very good and productive thing.
I do think if we are being addressed or treated in a way that makes us feel “less” than that which we know we are or wish to be treated, then we should surely speak up about it as we intuit. The Universe has a way of continuing to send us that which we readily accept. So if we continue to just let it “roll off our backs,” then the Universe is like, “Oh, well she must like that — here’s some more.” :) Not good.
Nah, we can’t wish away such things like bigotry and sexism. I think that modus operandi is the reason we’re still enduring it. But, of course, while taking the actions to establish what is not acceptable, most assuredly, envision that which we do want :) I’ve come to learn, it takes both.
But even in saying that, the ultimate is to follow our own heart/intuition. Trust it no matter what, no matter the results (in looking back, we invariably can see how even the “bad” stuff seemed to happen for the best). That strengthens it…strengthens our “faith” in it, in ourselves.
Hugs,
Dove